


Of Shared Drinks and Feelings

by banditsolace



Series: Mono no aware [3]
Category: Thai Actor RPF, TharnType the Series (TV), เกลียดนักมาเป็นที่รักกันซะดีๆ | TharnType: The Series (TV) RPF
Genre: Angst, Heavy Angst, M/M, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:53:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24126196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/banditsolace/pseuds/banditsolace
Summary: Inspired by the recent live of MewGulf where Mew answered that he and Gulf can be close friends if they weren’t in a ship.
Relationships: Mew Suppasit Jongcheveevat/Gulf Kanawut Traipipattanapong
Series: Mono no aware [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2022497
Comments: 10
Kudos: 67





	Of Shared Drinks and Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> Not a happy ending.  
> Edit: I wrote a sequel https://archiveofourown.org/works/24537439

“You seemed a little nervous today.”  
Gulf looked up from his phone to see Mew approaching him, after changing his clothes. He still looked handsome; as always. He smiled, although not really meaning it but he tried not to show it.  
“Not really.” He shook his head just a little. “Endorsing this bakery was fun, no? I was happy we got to make some drinks. Thankfully we’re going to meet the fans today via a live broadcast.”  
Mew sat beside him, closely and almost routinely. Ever since they started acting together for TharnType series, they’re basically stuck to each other like a glue. For all the promotional events that they’ve done, they did it together. Always. And that is true even for today’s schedule.  
“Great. I agree with you. The situation we’re currently experiencing is unfortunate but I’m glad we get to meet the fans even if it’s virtually.”  
Gulf nodded but didn’t say anything else. It broke him a little to watch Mew tuned out everything to focus on playing on his phone—because this is their reality. Without cameras, without people watching, they’re just two people with the same job that has forced them to be together physically. The sad truth is, Mew will never look at him the way he wanted Mew to look at him.  
“Okay. Are you guys ready for the live? We announced the schedule but it’s a little past the time already.”  
Mew extended his hand to Gulf to lead him. It’s show time.

——

“Thank you Mew and Gulf. That’s a wrap everyone!”  
Gulf silently thanked everyone while he tried to leave the place as fast as he could. He thought he could do it. He thought he can carry on with it. Maybe he’s not really strong enough to push through all of these.  
“Hey.”  
A touch on his shoulder pulled him out of his thoughts. He turned around to see Mew catching his breath. Did he go after him?  
Mew was visibly confused.  
“I thought we agreed to go home together today?”  
He suddenly felt like he couldn’t breathe. Maybe he did have a chance. Maybe Mew could look his way the way he longed he would.  
“Look, I promised your Mom I would. Besides, my conscience wouldn’t really let me live knowing I let you go home on your own.”  
He could feel tears forming in his eyes. Why does he always has to get his hopes up? Why does he think he could have a chance with him? Why does he keep on overthinking and letting him hurt himself in the end?  
“C’mon. It’ll be dark soon and traffic jam will be too heavy.”  
Why does it has to hurt like this so bad?  
“N-No.”  
He whispered, as he willed for his tears to not fall. But he felt his body betray him as he start shivering; he’s slowly losing control.  
“Huh? What do you mean no? The staff have left and it’s only the two of us now. We have to get going.”  
He held his head low, knowing that seeing him will be the catalyst to his unraveling.  
“I can go home by myself. Let’s just see each other on the next schedule.”  
He felt the other man’s eyes bore into him.  
“What do you mean? Are you okay? I’m confused with what’s going on.”  
He didn’t know how but with sudden move Mew has forced him to look at him.  
“Why are you crying? Is everything okay?”  
Gulf lost it. All his willpower. All his self-control gone as he look the other man in the eye.  
“I wish I have never met you!”  
He pushed him as hard as he could before trying to run but failed—he felt his strong grip as he was whirled around.  
“What’s happening Gulf? Why are you saying this? I don’t understand!”  
He tried to break free from his hold. Maybe he should just tell him and get over it. Maybe then it will hurt a little less than before.  
“That’s it! You don’t understand and you never will. So stop acting like you care and leave me alone!”  
Mew has never been so confused in his whole life.  
“What do you mean? Of course I care! Tell me me what happened. Tell me so I can understand better.”  
“And what for Mew? What for? Will it change the way things are?”  
He asked. He demanded. To him, it is what he at least deserved.  
“Change what Gulf? I thought we’re perfectly okay.”  
He had to laugh. What a situation he is in right now.  
“Yeah you’re right. We’re perfectly okay. You’re right. We are just close friends. It was me who’s wrong for thinking something else.”  
He wanted the ground to open and swallow him whole. He wanted to disappear so he doesn’t have to hurt like this anymore.  
Something clicked in Mew as he stared at Gulf.  
“What would you have wanted me to say? What would you have wanted to hear from me?”  
Gulf was in disbelief with what he just heard from the other man. Did he never really look that way at him? He never really saw him other than a colleague?  
He laughed. It was the most heartbreaking moment for him that the only thing he could do was laugh.  
“I never really thought it will hurt like this. If I only I knew you will hurt me like this, I would’ve stayed far from you.”  
He tried to wipe off his tears. This is it. There’s nothing to lose for him anyway.  
“Loving you was the most hurtful thing I had to experience. I’m sorry that I loved you. But I’m more sorry for myself for being so hurt like this.”  
He lost it. All of his willpower. All of his self control. He lost all of it.  
“If only I knew that loving you was this painful I wish I hadn’t love you instead.”


End file.
